Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A: Unique up on it.
Q: How do you catch a tame rabbit?
A: Tame way, unique up on it.
Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.
Q: How do you get holy water?
A: You boil the hell out of it.
Q: What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
A: Dam!
Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
A: Polaroids.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t return?
A: A stick.
Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
A: Nacho cheese.
Q: What do you call Santa’s helpers?
A: Subordinate clauses.
Q: What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
A: Quattro sinko.
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck.
Q: What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A: Anyone can roast beef. Can you pea soup?
Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A: Right where you left him.
Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers.
Q: Why don’t blind people like to sky dive?
A: Because it scares the dog.
Q: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
A: Sanka.
Q: What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
A: The location of the dirt bag.
Q: Why did pilgrims’ pants always fall down?
A: Because they wore their belt buckle on their hat.
Q: What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A: A bad golfer goes, "Whack, damn!" A bad skydiver goes, "Damn, whack!"
Q: How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same?
A: Somebody’s gonna lose a trailer.
Now, admit it, at least one of these made you smile!
